Hello to All!
Our doctor reported excellent results from Thursday's scans. The tumors in Ann's liver and bones remained stable, unchanged now over the last twelve weeks. Ann's lungs continue to be free of cancer. Most importantly, her liver is functioning normally, which indicates that the cancer present there has not caused damage.
The tests also confirm that Ann has held up remarkably well to the toxicity of the chemo. Her kidneys are functioning normally, which is unusual after eight rounds of this chemo regimen. Ann's brave heart is also functioning normally in spite of the chemo.
Thank you for praying this week for Ann. She was surprisingly calm yesterday as she endured the tests and was even relatively calm before today's appointment. Thank you for praying for Ann these last eight months. It may just be a coincidence that the chemo is killing the cancer without killing Ann. However, I'd be willing to bet that God is answering the persistent prayers of his people.
Dr. Steinert reiterated that "stable" is great news because it means that the cancer is not growing. The cancerous briquettes might have completely gone out, or they might still be smoldering. Time will be our test.
Four weeks without chemo. No blood work. No needles. No transfusions. No hospitals. The return to normalcy is welcome.
Four weeks without chemo. No sparring with the cancer. No lifeboat. Waiting and wondering. Walking by faith is frightening.
Please continue to pray. Now is the real test.
Luke 18:1:
Then Jesus told them a parable to show them they should always pray and not lose heart.
Hebrews 11:6:
And without faith it is impossible to please God,
because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists
and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Thank you for carrying us this far.
Love,
Howard & Ann
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
A Toxic Lifeboat (2/28/2007)
Hello to All,
We head back to Houston Wednesday evening for another set of tests on Thursday morning, in order to see if the chemo is still effectively holding the cancer at bay. We will anxiously wait until Friday at 1:00 pm to learn the results.
By God's grace and in answer to your prayers Ann has held up for the maximum of eight rounds with this chemo regimen. The side effects were minimal and manageable - many patients struggle to survive five or six rounds. Most importantly the cancer shrunk by 50% after the first two rounds and another 50% after the next two. The cancer remained "stable" (i.e. not growing) after six rounds. We are praying for "no sign of disease" after eight.
This trip will be unusual because it will not include the five days of chemotherapy. The plan is for Ann to take a four week break without chemo. Tests will follow that break. If the cancer remains stable, then she will take another eight weeks off. However, if the cancer starts to grow again, then she will start a new regimen of chemo. If this new regimen is required, it would be administered in Dallas. We would just need to return to Houston for regular testing.
We are grateful to have come this far. In September it seemed impossible. How would we stay afloat? Yet, God has sustained us through the prayer and care of our family and friends. We know that God is real because we have felt his love though you.
We are relieved to have this break from chemo. Every three weeks for the past 25, Ann was hit with another wave of chemo about the time she started to feel better. We are praying that Ann will begin to feel somewhat "normal" - both physically and emotionally - during this reprieve. Some laughter would be good. Some quality time with the kids over Spring Break would be great.
We are apprehensive about what the future will bring. The chemo has been Ann's lifeboat, protecting her from the raging sea. It was safe and it became routine. However, it was also toxic. Staying in the boat is now more dangerous than fighting the sea, so Ann must leave the safety of the lifeboat and climb back into the sea. She will tread water as long as she can. Only time will tell if she is close to shore or an impossible distance from land. If she starts to go under, another lifeboat is available. It will certainly be less toxic, but it comes with no guarantee of effectiveness. It may float for a long time, or it may not float at all. It is designed to protect her from the sea but not to carry her to shore.
We are hopeful in the One who is greater than a lifeboat. We have hope in life after death because Jesus paid for our sins by the cross and he conquered death by the empty tomb. Ann trusted in Christ's death and resurrection as a little girl and knows that her future in heaven is guaranteed. We also have hope in life rather than death because the One who walked on water and calmed the sea can deliver Ann with or without a lifeboat. The ferocity of the waves and the distance from shore are irrelevant. The gospels demonstrate Jesus' ability and willingness to heal.
Thank you for praying for us. You have kept us from going under and may in time bring us to shore.
Prayer Requests:
A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. "Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples.
Love,
Howard & Ann
We head back to Houston Wednesday evening for another set of tests on Thursday morning, in order to see if the chemo is still effectively holding the cancer at bay. We will anxiously wait until Friday at 1:00 pm to learn the results.
By God's grace and in answer to your prayers Ann has held up for the maximum of eight rounds with this chemo regimen. The side effects were minimal and manageable - many patients struggle to survive five or six rounds. Most importantly the cancer shrunk by 50% after the first two rounds and another 50% after the next two. The cancer remained "stable" (i.e. not growing) after six rounds. We are praying for "no sign of disease" after eight.
This trip will be unusual because it will not include the five days of chemotherapy. The plan is for Ann to take a four week break without chemo. Tests will follow that break. If the cancer remains stable, then she will take another eight weeks off. However, if the cancer starts to grow again, then she will start a new regimen of chemo. If this new regimen is required, it would be administered in Dallas. We would just need to return to Houston for regular testing.
We are grateful to have come this far. In September it seemed impossible. How would we stay afloat? Yet, God has sustained us through the prayer and care of our family and friends. We know that God is real because we have felt his love though you.
We are relieved to have this break from chemo. Every three weeks for the past 25, Ann was hit with another wave of chemo about the time she started to feel better. We are praying that Ann will begin to feel somewhat "normal" - both physically and emotionally - during this reprieve. Some laughter would be good. Some quality time with the kids over Spring Break would be great.
We are apprehensive about what the future will bring. The chemo has been Ann's lifeboat, protecting her from the raging sea. It was safe and it became routine. However, it was also toxic. Staying in the boat is now more dangerous than fighting the sea, so Ann must leave the safety of the lifeboat and climb back into the sea. She will tread water as long as she can. Only time will tell if she is close to shore or an impossible distance from land. If she starts to go under, another lifeboat is available. It will certainly be less toxic, but it comes with no guarantee of effectiveness. It may float for a long time, or it may not float at all. It is designed to protect her from the sea but not to carry her to shore.
We are hopeful in the One who is greater than a lifeboat. We have hope in life after death because Jesus paid for our sins by the cross and he conquered death by the empty tomb. Ann trusted in Christ's death and resurrection as a little girl and knows that her future in heaven is guaranteed. We also have hope in life rather than death because the One who walked on water and calmed the sea can deliver Ann with or without a lifeboat. The ferocity of the waves and the distance from shore are irrelevant. The gospels demonstrate Jesus' ability and willingness to heal.
Thank you for praying for us. You have kept us from going under and may in time bring us to shore.
Prayer Requests:
- That God would calm the storm in Ann's heart as we wait for Friday and as we tread water this month.
- That Ann would begin to feel "normal" physically and emotionally as she takes a break from chemo.
- That we could have some quality time as a family over Spring Break. Laughter, normalcy, rest.
- That God would completely heal Ann so that our grandkids might know her. (Thanks to my friend Keith for this emphasis.)
A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. "Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples.
Love,
Howard & Ann
Friday, February 9, 2007
The Final Round? (2/9/2007)
Hello to All,
I remember standing in the lobby of M.D. Anderson back on September 1st, making phone calls back to Dallas and elsewhere. The doctor had just confirmed that Ann had angiosarcoma. The initial treatment plan would consist of an aggressive 6-8 rounds of chemo, which would require Ann to live in Houston for the first five weeks and then every third week after that. I remember being overwhelmed with questions like "What will the chemo do to Ann?", "Where will the kids stay?", and "How will I manage work?".
Ann starts her eighth round of chemo this afternoon. There were certainly times when we wondered if we would make it this far. Yet here we are. God has proven his strength and love. Here are the "BigTen" reasons that we made it through these eight rounds.
11. Health insurance.
10. A flexible and accommodating work schedule.
9. Meals and gifts, cards and emails from family and friends.
8. Our kids - for their patience, resilience, and child-like faith.
7. Dave & Joan, Jim & Laurie - for walking with us because they walked it before us.
6. Bill & Sue - for providing a safe refuge in Houston.
5. Our mom's - for putting their lives on hold to keep ours from falling apart.
4. Ann's toleration of the chemo - It set her back, but it didn't knock her out.
3. The effectiveness of the chemo - The tumors shrunk by 50% twice, are now stable, and perhaps dead.
2. Prayer - ours and yours.
1. The Bible.
Prayer Requests:
* That this "last" round of chemo will completely douse any smoldering tumors.
* That the cancer would not return when we take a break from chemo.
* That God will fill Ann with hope in his character and deliverance.
* That God would heal Ann in his time and way so that she can know our grandkids.
Ps. 62:11-12
One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Thank you for your continued prayer and concern,
Howard & Ann
I remember standing in the lobby of M.D. Anderson back on September 1st, making phone calls back to Dallas and elsewhere. The doctor had just confirmed that Ann had angiosarcoma. The initial treatment plan would consist of an aggressive 6-8 rounds of chemo, which would require Ann to live in Houston for the first five weeks and then every third week after that. I remember being overwhelmed with questions like "What will the chemo do to Ann?", "Where will the kids stay?", and "How will I manage work?".
Ann starts her eighth round of chemo this afternoon. There were certainly times when we wondered if we would make it this far. Yet here we are. God has proven his strength and love. Here are the "BigTen" reasons that we made it through these eight rounds.
11. Health insurance.
10. A flexible and accommodating work schedule.
9. Meals and gifts, cards and emails from family and friends.
8. Our kids - for their patience, resilience, and child-like faith.
7. Dave & Joan, Jim & Laurie - for walking with us because they walked it before us.
6. Bill & Sue - for providing a safe refuge in Houston.
5. Our mom's - for putting their lives on hold to keep ours from falling apart.
4. Ann's toleration of the chemo - It set her back, but it didn't knock her out.
3. The effectiveness of the chemo - The tumors shrunk by 50% twice, are now stable, and perhaps dead.
2. Prayer - ours and yours.
1. The Bible.
Prayer Requests:
* That this "last" round of chemo will completely douse any smoldering tumors.
* That the cancer would not return when we take a break from chemo.
* That God will fill Ann with hope in his character and deliverance.
* That God would heal Ann in his time and way so that she can know our grandkids.
Ps. 62:11-12
One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Thank you for your continued prayer and concern,
Howard & Ann
Saturday, January 20, 2007
The Stability of Our Faith (1/20/2007)
Hello to All,
Our doctor walked in to the exam room and cheerfully announced, “The scans are fine. The cancer is stable.” Her emotions and words seemed a bit contradictory, especially since we expected continued shrinkage of the tumors and were quietly hoping for “no sign of disease.”
However, she explained that angiosarcoma tumors are often initially very responsive to chemo, but then begin to stabilize. She assured us that stable is good. In fact it is difficult to tell via the scans if the cancer is dormant or dead.
This is the picture that I came away with. Ann’s liver is like a Weber grill and the tumors are charcoal briquettes. The scans show that the briquettes are about the same size as they were six weeks ago. Unfortunately, the scans can’t tell us if the briquettes are still smoldering, or if they have gone out. Only time will tell. If the tumors begin to grow after taking a break from chemo, then we’ll know that the briquettes were still on fire. To be honest we would rather walk by sight.
Popping The Question:
When we first learned that Ann had angiosarcoma, I asked the doctor in Dallas about her prognosis. He stated that it was too early to tell. Life expectancy would depend on the aggressive nature of her cancer and its responsiveness to the chemo. The worst case – aggressive and unresponsive – might mean a year.
We had intentionally chosen not to discuss that topic with our doctor in Houston, but the subject came up Friday as we asked questions like, “What chemo would be used for the next regimen?” and “How long can a person be on chemo?” We were encouraged and relieved when Dr. Steinert assured us that we were not in that worst case scenario. Medically speaking, there is no reason to expect that Ann would miss Hannah’s next birthday.
Do we put our trust in the doctor or the chemo? No. Does this bit of encouragement help us to walk by faith? Absolutely.
Our Rock:
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
Matthew 7:24-25:
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
Prayer Requests:
- That God would continue to enable Ann to tolerate the chemo for rounds 7 & 8.
- That God would fill us with hope in his character and deliverance as we put his Word into practice.
- That God would heal Ann in his time and way so that she can know our grandkids.
Thank you for your continued prayer and concern,
Howard & Ann
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Tough Questions (1/18/2007)
Hello to All,
Physically, Ann's recovery from Round 6 continued to go remarkably well. She had the pep to cheer at some of Matt's and Hannah's basketball games. She traveled with me to Arkansas to deliver Paul to John Brown University for his first semester. She didn't even require a blood or platelet transfusion this time. Perhaps the extra week of recovery at Christmas refreshed her body a bit.
Emotionally, some days can be really tough. Leaving Paul in Arkansas. Leaving Hannah on her birthday to return to Houston for Round 7. The nagging pain in Ann's back and midsection. Not feeling well day after day. The death of young man for whom we had earnestly prayed. Hope is very elusive some days.
Ann has voiced these questions:
In some ways the second two questions are tougher. I want more than anything to guarantee affirmative answers to Ann. I'm re-examining the Bible, reading books, and pondering circumstances, yet I'm still unable to promise that she will be healed and live to a certain age. In reality none of us have a guarantee beyond today.
I have found that my toughest task is to encourage Ann to cling to hope, without naively promising things outside my control.
Prayer Requests:
Physically, Ann's recovery from Round 6 continued to go remarkably well. She had the pep to cheer at some of Matt's and Hannah's basketball games. She traveled with me to Arkansas to deliver Paul to John Brown University for his first semester. She didn't even require a blood or platelet transfusion this time. Perhaps the extra week of recovery at Christmas refreshed her body a bit.
Emotionally, some days can be really tough. Leaving Paul in Arkansas. Leaving Hannah on her birthday to return to Houston for Round 7. The nagging pain in Ann's back and midsection. Not feeling well day after day. The death of young man for whom we had earnestly prayed. Hope is very elusive some days.
Ann has voiced these questions:
- What if there is no God?
- What if the Bible isn't true?
- Will I be here to take the other kids to college?
- Will I be here for Hannah's birthday next year?
In some ways the second two questions are tougher. I want more than anything to guarantee affirmative answers to Ann. I'm re-examining the Bible, reading books, and pondering circumstances, yet I'm still unable to promise that she will be healed and live to a certain age. In reality none of us have a guarantee beyond today.
I have found that my toughest task is to encourage Ann to cling to hope, without naively promising things outside my control.
Prayer Requests:
- That the God would enable Ann to cling to hope, even when circumstances seem hopeless.
- That the various tests from last night and today would show that the chemo is continuing to kill the cancer. (We will take whatever God gives, but would love it if the cancer was no longer visible.)
- That God would heal Ann in his time and way so that she might know our grandchildren.
John 6:66-68:
After this many of his disciples quit following him and did not accompany him any longer.
So Jesus said to the twelve, "You don't want to go away too, do you?"
Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life.
Thanks for caring and praying,
Howard & Ann
Monday, January 1, 2007
Six Rounds and Still Standing (1/1/2007)
Hello to All,
In the big picture Ann's toleration of the chemo continues to be remarkable. Again, the doctor was very encouraging in her assessment. The current plan is to attempt the eight round maximum. Our gratitude for your prayers is beyond words.
The recovery period between Rounds 5 & 6 went relatively well. The extra week off helped Ann to regain some semblance of feeling "normal".
Yet, the time was not without a few set backs. Ann developed shingles about mid way through this recovery period. Fortunately, we noticed it early and Ann was able to take an effective prescription. The pain was only difficult for a few days.
Ann again needed a platelet and blood transfusion to sustain her between the rounds. When Ann received her first transfusion a few months ago, she was disappointed. She felt as though she had somehow failed because her body needed extra help to recover from the chemo. However, after enjoying the resulting infusion of strength and energy, she now views the transfusions as a gift from God, as a source of new life not an indication of failure. We are grateful to someone somewhere who willingly gave his/her blood to sustain Ann in this struggle. We are reminded of Jesus Christ who willingly shed his blood to purchase what we could not - forgiveness of sin and life after death.
1 Peter 1:18-19:
You know that from your empty way of life inherited from your ancestors you were ransomed--
not by perishable things like silver or gold,
but by precious blood like that of an unblemished and spotless lamb, namely Christ.
Leaving the kids and I the day after Christmas to return to Houston was especially difficult for Ann. Laurie accompanied Ann at the hospital for a few days, then Sue took a turn. I flew to Houston for the last few days. Ann and I drove back to Dallas last evening and arrived in time to celebrate New Year's Eve with the kids, indulging in our traditional chocolate fondue.
When we first went to M.D. Anderson in September and learned that the initial sojourn in Houston would be five weeks and every third week after that, we were frustrated, disappointed, and angered. If God were to take Ann's life early, why add to the pain by separating her from the kids for these extended periods. However, the separation has given Ann a new appreciation for Jesus Christ's 30 year sojourn in Israel. The Son of God willingly left his Father in heaven to live among men. He was born in a manger so he could die on a cross. He was separated from His Father when he took our sins that we might be restored to the Father when we trust in him.
John 1:14, 3:16:
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.
We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only,
who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,
that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Prayer Requests:
- That we can maintain our trust in God's character and hope in his deliverance. At times it is really tough.
- That the tests on January 18th will show that the chemo is continuing to kill the cancer. (To be honest, we are hoping that the cancer is no longer visible.)
- That God would heal Ann in his time and way so that she can know our Grandchildren.
We pray that God will give you a new appreciation for the depth of his love as demonstrated by the death of his Son.
We love and appreciate you all.
Howard & Ann
Saturday, December 2, 2006
Effective Chemo or an Awesome God (12/2/2006)
Hello!
We returned to Houston on Thursday for tests and met with the oncologist yesterday morning to review the results. We are encouraged that the test results again showed significant progress.
- The largest tumor in her liver shrunk another 50% since the middle of October.
- Many of the smaller tumors there are no longer visible.
- The total number of tumors has gone from dozens and dozens to about a dozen.
- The cancer in her bones remains stable. (MRI's can't really show a decrease, so stable is good news.)
- There is no evidence that the cancer has spread since the chemo has started.
The doctor continues to be pleased with Ann's tolerance of the chemo. Patients often have to quit this regimen because the side effects make the "quality of life" too unbearable.
The new plan is to go for the maximum of eight rounds - if Ann continues to hold up. Even if the cancer would appear to be gone after six rounds, prudence would dictate that we continue for eight.
Is God answering prayer or is the chemo effectively treating the cancer?
Philip Yancey, in his new book on prayer, writes words these words:
"In the normal course of providence, God works through and in creation, not despite it. For this reason, most answers to prayer are difficult to prove with any certainty."
Ann might just be really tough like Lance Armstrong. The chemo might be killing the cancer just as designed.
Yancey continues,
"We believe a prayer has been answered not because of any scientific criteria proving cause and effect, but because we have faith. Trusting in God's character, we can see in the relation between our prayer and an event more than a coincidence."
Prayer Requests:
Please join us in making the following items more than a coincidence:
- That Ann could focus on enjoying family and friends this month without contemplating what next year will bring.
- That Ann will hold onto hope, even when her body is tired and her emotions are spent.
- That Ann would continue to tolerate the chemo so that she can make it through eight rounds.
- That God would heal Ann in his time and in his way so that she can know our grandkids.
Psalms 33:18-20:
But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.
We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
Thanks for praying and caring for us,
Howard & Ann
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)