A Toxic Lifeboat (2/28/2007)

Hello to All,

We head back to Houston Wednesday evening for another set of tests on Thursday morning, in order to see if the chemo is still effectively holding the cancer at bay. We will anxiously wait until Friday at 1:00 pm to learn the results.

By God's grace and in answer to your prayers Ann has held up for the maximum of eight rounds with this chemo regimen. The side effects were minimal and manageable - many patients struggle to survive five or six rounds. Most importantly the cancer shrunk by 50% after the first two rounds and another 50% after the next two. The cancer remained "stable" (i.e. not growing) after six rounds. We are praying for "no sign of disease" after eight.

This trip will be unusual because it will not include the five days of chemotherapy. The plan is for Ann to take a four week break without chemo. Tests will follow that break. If the cancer remains stable, then she will take another eight weeks off. However, if the cancer starts to grow again, then she will start a new regimen of chemo. If this new regimen is required, it would be administered in Dallas. We would just need to return to Houston for regular testing.

We are grateful to have come this far. In September it seemed impossible. How would we stay afloat? Yet, God has sustained us through the prayer and care of our family and friends. We know that God is real because we have felt his love though you.

We are relieved to have this break from chemo. Every three weeks for the past 25, Ann was hit with another wave of chemo about the time she started to feel better. We are praying that Ann will begin to feel somewhat "normal" - both physically and emotionally - during this reprieve. Some laughter would be good. Some quality time with the kids over Spring Break would be great.

We are apprehensive about what the future will bring. The chemo has been Ann's lifeboat, protecting her from the raging sea. It was safe and it became routine. However, it was also toxic. Staying in the boat is now more dangerous than fighting the sea, so Ann must leave the safety of the lifeboat and climb back into the sea. She will tread water as long as she can. Only time will tell if she is close to shore or an impossible distance from land. If she starts to go under, another lifeboat is available. It will certainly be less toxic, but it comes with no guarantee of effectiveness. It may float for a long time, or it may not float at all. It is designed to protect her from the sea but not to carry her to shore.

We are hopeful in the One who is greater than a lifeboat. We have hope in life after death because Jesus paid for our sins by the cross and he conquered death by the empty tomb. Ann trusted in Christ's death and resurrection as a little girl and knows that her future in heaven is guaranteed. We also have hope in life rather than death because the One who walked on water and calmed the sea can deliver Ann with or without a lifeboat. The ferocity of the waves and the distance from shore are irrelevant. The gospels demonstrate Jesus' ability and willingness to heal.

Thank you for praying for us. You have kept us from going under and may in time bring us to shore.

Prayer Requests:

• That God would calm the storm in Ann's heart as we wait for Friday and as we tread water this month.
• That Ann would begin to feel "normal" physically and emotionally as she takes a break from chemo.
• That we could have some quality time as a family over Spring Break. Laughter, normalcy, rest.
• That God would completely heal Ann so that our grandkids might know her. (Thanks to my friend Keith for this emphasis.)
  

Luke 8:23b-25a:
A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. "Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples.


Love,
Howard & Ann

The Final Round? (2/9/2007)

Hello to All,

I remember standing in the lobby of M.D. Anderson back on September 1st, making phone calls back to Dallas and elsewhere. The doctor had just confirmed that Ann had angiosarcoma. The initial treatment plan would consist of an aggressive 6-8 rounds of chemo, which would require Ann to live in Houston for the first five weeks and then every third week after that. I remember being overwhelmed with questions like "What will the chemo do to Ann?", "Where will the kids stay?", and "How will I manage work?".

Ann starts her eighth round of chemo this afternoon. There were certainly times when we wondered if we would make it this far. Yet here we are. God has proven his strength and love. Here are the "BigTen" reasons that we made it through these eight rounds.

11. Health insurance.
10. A flexible and accommodating work schedule.
9. Meals and gifts, cards and emails from family and friends.
8. Our kids - for their patience, resilience, and child-like faith.
7. Dave & Joan, Jim & Laurie - for walking with us because they walked it before us.
6. Bill & Sue - for providing a safe refuge in Houston.
5. Our mom's - for putting their lives on hold to keep ours from falling apart.
4. Ann's toleration of the chemo - It set her back, but it didn't knock her out.
3. The effectiveness of the chemo - The tumors shrunk by 50% twice, are now stable, and perhaps dead.
2. Prayer - ours and yours.
1. The Bible.

Prayer Requests:
* That this "last" round of chemo will completely douse any smoldering tumors.
* That the cancer would not return when we take a break from chemo.
* That God will fill Ann with hope in his character and deliverance.
* That God would heal Ann in his time and way so that she can know our grandkids.

Ps. 62:11-12
One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving.


Thank you for your continued prayer and concern,
Howard & Ann