This last month has been mostly uneventful as Ann completed Rounds 7 and 8 of this regimen. The only issue was that Ann ran a fever for a few days during Round 8. Remarkably, her white blood counts were normal so she didn't need to be hospitalized. The oncologist just gave her some high-powered antibiotics. Amazingly, this is the first fever that Ann has had in the sixteen months since her spleen was removed. Add to that the sixteen rounds of chemotherapy, especially the first eight in which her immune system was severely beaten down, and it is near miraculous. God has graciously protected Ann from illnesses that could have taken her out. God has graciously answered our corporate prayers.
We return to Houston tomorrow evening for another round of tests. The key question is whether the cancer is still "stable" (not growing), even with the reduction in chemo. Ann's scans are Thursday morning and we meet with the oncologist Friday morning. We are cautiously optimistic that the news will be good and that we will be able to change the chemo cycle length from three weeks to four.
What a Difference a Year Makes
Ann and I have discussed how different things are this Thanksgiving compared to last. Last year there was overwhelming fear and uncertainty. Chaos ruled and we coped by focusing on one day at a time. We are still often overwhelmed and we have no certainties except the Word. Yet, the degree of chaos has lessoned substantially and we find ourselves looking at the future. We have already made our reservations for our annual trek to Colorado. Ann has even talked of redoing the kitchen floor and painting the boy's bedrooms. Those things weren't even on the radar last year.
We are still giving thanks for God's goodness and grace. This year's Top Ten List is similar, yet remarkably different, than last year's Thanksgiving List.
10. Family and friends. We continue to be encouraged by your emails and cards. Even though I don't often find the time to respond, please know that those notes are sometimes what enables us to keep going. We continue to be overwhelmed by meals and gifts. Friends are still bringing in meals twice a week. That's incredible. We continue to be humbled by your persistent prayers. I believe that Ann is alive today because God has heard and answered our prayers.
9. Effective Chemo. That first chemo regimen so toxic that it was literally life threatening. This time last year we didn't know how many rounds Ann would be able to withstand. By God grace she went the distance, the full eight rounds. We also didn't know if the next regimen would even work. By God's grace it has worked. The tumors now appear to be "dead" and the oncologist has even reduced the treatment plan by dropping Taxotere from these last two rounds.
8. A "boring" routine. The first six months of this storm were chaos; the last six months have become routine. We spent five days in Houston every three weeks; we now spend two days every seven or eight weeks. Ann received chemo every day for five days straight while in Houston; she now receives just two treatments a week apart here in Dallas. Chemo, blood tests, and scans have become a "normal" part of our life. The side effects are currently minimal and the cancer is stable. As the oncologist previously remarked, "Boring is good."
7. Our kids. We still have occasional melt downs, but we no longer fear that the kids will reject God because of Ann's cancer. On the contrary, we are praying that they will learn trust God in impossible situations – whether times of suffering or difficult ministry assignments – because they have witnessed God's faithfulness during our battle with cancer.
6. Examples. We have been heartened by friends and family like Joe, Terri, Roger, Jackie, Bill, Mike, Betty, Judy, Lisa, Nancy, Mary Sue, and others. Some have been healed miraculously and others naturally. Some have personally witnessed unexplainable healings, others incredible provisions. Some are trusting God for the impossible, others are honoring him through incredible suffering. All are exercising faith. All are mentors for us.
5. Hiking in Colorado. By God's grace Ann made our annual hike to Dream Lake in Rocky Mountain National Park last July. After taking family pictures, we had a brief worship time and prayed once again for physical healing. I could be delusional, but I sense that God answered our prayer that day. We're just waiting for his perfect timing.
4. Prayer. Jesus' challenge in Luke 18:1-8 to never "loose heart" when praying has never meant more to me than now. I've solemnly promised Ann than I will never quit praying for her physical healing – even if the chemo stops working or if the cancer spreads to additional organs – unless she takes her last breath.
3. Word. I started reading the Bible to Ann after we received the initial diagnosis in July 2006. I had nothing to say so I turned to the Psalms. We've continue the practice nearly every night since. I've also spent a significant time studying various passages on healing and suffering, prayer and faith. James 5:13-20 is my anchor and Psalm 103 is my hope. My main regret is that I don't have more time to study.
2. Cancer. I heard others say it and I always thought they were either naïve or delusional. Yet, I can honestly say that I am thankful for this last sixteen months. Cancer is still evil and we are still praying for deliverance. Yet I would not trade the lessons learned for a trial-free life. (I reserve the right to take this one back if Ann dies from this cancer.)
1. Life. From a statistical standpoint, Ann should be in heaven now. If my heart attack had been more severe, I could be there too. Every day is a gift.
1 Chronicles 16:34:
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
Prayer Requests:
- That the test results would confirm that the cancer has remained "stable" and that we could transition to a four-week chemo cycle.
- That God would strengthen our friend Paul, and his two young daughters, as they grieve in the coming weeks and months. His wife Gini lost the physical battle with cancer, but gained eternal life in the presence of God.
- That God would physically heal Ann so that she can teach our kids and grandkids that "there is nothing our God cannot do."
- That God would demonstrate the reality of the resurrection from the dead by delivering Ann from the grip of death.
Love,
Howard & Ann
