Thank You to the Yarnell Cousins

Thank you for the love, cards, gifts and prayers during the two years that Ann fought cancer and the seven months since she went to heaven. Thank you specifically for the large gift this summer. We had a good, but difficult time on our annual hiking trip to Rocky Mountain National Park. The majesty and beauty of the mountains was mingled with the pain and grief of Ann’s absence.

I’ve not had any “mystical” experiences during our storm where God has overwhelmed me with his love or comfort. Yet, I haven’t really questioned his love, nor am I able to stay angry at him, because he has repeatedly demonstrated his love through the kindnesses his people. Thank you for being his arms and hands to comfort us.

I’d like to share two episodes as examples of how the Yarnell cousins were a tremendous encouragement to us in our journey.

One highlight was breakfast with Roger and Teresa in Houston. One of our trips to M.D. Anderson for chemotherapy coincided with one of Roger’s visits for a checkup. We had a nice breakfast at Le Peeps and got caught up with each other. Roger encouraged us with his story, how God had sustained him through the painful radiation treatments and surgeries. He then made a ridiculous statement. He said that if had the choice to do it over, he would not choose to avoid his trial of cancer. The pain and suffering brought a dependency on Jesus that he wouldn’t have otherwise experienced. I’m not yet ready to make the same statement, but I am beginning to understand what he’s talking about.

Another highlight was a comment that Steve made to us sometime after Ann’s diagnosis, perhaps at a Yarnell reunion. He told us that he was praying harder for Ann than for anyone he had ever prayed for. We were overwhelmed with gratitude and we knew that God was at work. While Ann was still alive, this gave us hope to persevere in our prayers for physical healing. After Ann went to heaven, this gave me assurance that her death wasn’t my fault. Steve and hundreds of others had passionately prayed for Ann’s deliverance from cancer. Yet, God said “No” for reasons known only to him at this time. Ann didn’t die because there was a lack of prayer.

I’ve written to some that I’ve been studying about the “New Earth” (the eternal heaven) in order to attempt to make sense out of Ann’s premature death. I now believe that after the Resurrection we’ll live in physical bodies on a renewed earth and we’ll enjoy human friendships and activities.

My relationship with Ann has merely been interrupted, not extinguished. One day Ann will introduce us to our three babies who were miscarried. One day we’ll introduce Ann to her grandkids. Then we’ll enjoy adventures together on the New Earth in places like Colorado, Monterey, Alaska and Mongolia. Selfishness and irritability will never mar our relationship. Time constraints will never be a frustration. Neither cancer nor death will ever again separate us.

Ann loved her extended family and cherished the memories of Sunday dinners at Grandma Yarnell’s as well as the Yarnell reunions. Moving to Dallas eleven years ago so we could attend seminary was deeply painful for Ann. She missed her family and grieved for a year over the loss of relationship. Certainly, her greatest longing now is that all of her cousins join her someday at the resurrection so that these relationships will continue forever on the New Earth.

Thanks again for the gift and especially for the continued prayers. Ann’s absence will be particularly tough this Christmas.

Love,
Howard & Ann,
Paul, Drew, Hannah & Matt