Eating My Words (8/25/2007)

Hello to All,

Dr. Steinert was her typical upbeat self when she walked into the examination room yesterday. She exclaimed, "It looks like you are doing well!" The scans showed that the cancer had basically remained "stable" since the tests eight weeks ago. Ann's lungs are still cancer free and the blood tests show that her liver is still functioning normally. The doctor was also excited to hear that Ann had been able to hike fifteen miles while in Colorado and that she has experienced minimal side effects from the chemo. Apparently, this regimen will wipe some people out so badly that they have to lie in bed for days.

Dr. Steinert's challenge is to balance two competing priorities: to minimize or stop the growth of the cancer and to enable Ann to have an adequate "quality of life." (We both hate that term.) Ann's last regimen was limited to eight rounds because of its toxicity, so I asked if there was a limit to this regimen. The doctor reported that she has a patient who had just completed Round 57. As long as the cancer remains stable and Ann continues to do well, it looks like she will continue this regimen - until God physically heals.

Ann has been receiving chemo treatments for almost a year and it has become a bittersweet part of our routine. Thank you for carrying us through prayer this last year. Ann starts Round 5 on Tuesday.


During seminary I often visited a couple of Half Price Books Stores with my friend Hector in order to find good deals on commentaries and other Biblical reference books. I distinctly remember having this arrogant thought on one of our shopping sprees, "I don't need any of the 'popular' Christian books. I get all I need for daily life from studying the Bible with some good commentaries." I usually didn't even bother to go to the 'Christian Living' section of the store, but just camped in the reference section.

In a previous email I voiced a troubling question, "What if God doesn't really keep his promises?" If you can guess the biblical scholar (before reading the rest of the email) whose careful arguments convinced me that I could trust God's Word, I will wire you $1,000.

I was bored one afternoon last month while shopping with Ann, so I went outside to wait patiently for her in the car. I noticed a small book next to Ann's seat, one that was given to her while we were back in Iowa. I began to scan the first chapter.

The author related the time that her children asked her, "Is there anything God cannot do?" She thought a bit and then replied, "He can't break his promises." After they ran off to resume play, she pondered the implication of what she had just said. She writes,

"If God cannot break his promises, then we know that we can stake our lives and afterlives on them… I can depend on the God of all Creation to do what he says he's going to do. To do otherwise would be to violate his own person. His promises are guaranteed by the same power that keeps the sun in its place and the planets spinning in their orbits."

The book was Gentle Grace and the author was Kathy Lee Gifford. The Holy Spirit used the former star of Regis and Kathy Lee to force me to eat my words and to convince me to trust his again.

Trusting His Word:

• "It is impossible for God to lie…" (Heb 6:18)
• "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." (Heb 10:23)
• "Not one of all the LORD's good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled." (Joshua 21:45)
• "For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished." (Matt 5:18)
• "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock." (Matt 7:24)
  

Prayer Requests:

• That patience and forgiveness would characterize our family's relationships, rather than anger and arguing.
• That the "Mack Truck" side effect would swerve past Ann again.
• That Ann would continue to tolerate the chemo and that the chemo would continue to hold the cancer in check.
• That God would physically heal Ann in his time and way so that our grandkids will know her love and faith.
  

Thanks for praying and caring.

Love,
Howard & Ann