Confessions of a Skeptic (10/9/2007)

Hello to All,

We continue our trek in the valley between suffering and healing. The journey is a paradox of normalcy and reality, sacrifice and selfishness, faith and fear, hope and despair, endurance and fatigue, expectation and resignation.

Life seemed pretty normal last Monday when we ate corn dogs and funnel cakes at the Texas State Fair and when we fled the city on Saturday to hang out at a nearby state park with several families from church. Reality hits every morning when Ann puts on her wig or as her eyebrows continue to thin.

I was struck by the depth of my own selfishness over the weekend, getting angry about little things with both the kids and Ann, rather than "keeping no record of wrongs." I could excuse myself, assuming that it arose from stress or fatigue, but the bottom line is that there is a lot of sewer in my heart that still needs redeemed (Matt. 15:17-18).

On several occasions recently – usually after some time in the Word – Ann has expressed a measure of confidence that God would physically heal her. She is accepting Beth Moore's challenge to "Believe that God can do what he says he can do." On other occasions – like this morning – Ann lies on the floor weeping, overcome by fear and hopelessness. She identifies with Beth Moore's quotation of a fellow traveler, "It was just too exhausting to maintain a spirit of expectation."

We will leave for Houston after work on Wednesday. The scans are Thursday morning and we will meet with the doctor on Friday. Will our "lull" continue or will it come to a screeching halt?

Confessions of a Skeptic:
Duane Miller's dramatic and instantaneous healing occurred while he was teaching a Sunday School class and it was providentially recorded on tape. He recounts his story in the book Out Of the Silence. On the back cover his pastor, the senior pastor from Houston's First Baptist Church, testified, "Every syllable you will read and hear in this book is true. I was there when it happened."

Why was such a testimony necessary on a book cover? Is it because the excesses of "faith healers" have caused many of us to be skeptical of all healings? Is it because our theology has constricted God to a box smaller than appropriate? I know that I had an easier time believing Duane Miller's story because of his pastor's assurances.

The following two episodes from Richard Foster's Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home were a tremendous encouragement to me as I wrestled with the validity of healing for today.

St. Augustine:
St. Augustine "doubted the validity of Healing Prayer, stating in his early writings that Christians should not look for the continuation of the healing gift." In 424 A.D. a brother and sister were miraculously healed in Augustine's church at the beginning of a couple of worship services. He was convinced that these healings were genuine and proceeded to set up a process for recording and authenticating miracles. Nearly seventy healing miracles were attested in the two years that followed.

Richard Foster:
Foster chronicles in how own life how his "prejudices against physical healing begin to crumble." He was working in a counseling center and was convicted that his success with patients "was completely explainable by human techniques of psychological manipulation." The experience that challenged him was when he prayed for a World War II veteran who had suffered from fear and bitterness for 28 years. After that prayer, the vet slept peacefully for the first time in decades and was "totally and instantaneously healed" from the hate and sorrow that had imprisoned him.

Other authors, who journeyed from skepticism, are Beth Moore (Believing God), Michael L. Brown (Israel's Divine Healer), James L. Garlow (God Still Heals), and Michael S. Barry (A Reason for Hope).

There are at least two dangers of holding too tightly to a theological system. First, no system accounts for all the biblical data. Second, the trickle down effect from scholar to lay person is often ineffective. For me, the practical outcome of a holding a theology that asserts "some gifts of the Holy Spirit such as … miraculous healings were temporary" was that I no longer really believed in healing miracles at all. My first response when hearing that someone was "healed" was skepticism. In theory I believed that God could heal; in reality I doubted that he ever would. Specifically, I was convinced that he had no intention of healing Ann.

Psalm 30:1-3:
I will exalt you,
O LORD, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.
O LORD, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit.

Prayer Requests:

• That we would have the necessary courage to return to Houston for the scans and the doctor's appointment. The reality of our situation often overwhelms us as we walk through the doors of M.D. Anderson.
• That our family's relationships would be characterized by patience and forgiveness, rather than arguing and anger.
• That God would physically heal Ann so that she can teach our kids and grandkids that "there is nothing our God cannot do."
• That God would demonstrate the reality of the resurrection from the dead by delivering Ann from the grip of death.
  

Thanks for praying and caring.

Love,
Howard & Ann


PS. If you know of anyone who needs encouragement to persevere, then feel free to point them my sermon "I Quit" at the following link: http://www.nhbc.net/previous-sermons.php. The date of the sermon was August 12, 2007. You can listen to the sermon via Real Player or iTunes.

Why won't you pray for my healing? (9/21/2007)

Hello to All,

On the one hand life seems kind of "normal" now. Ann went to Matt's football game, Drew's soccer game and Hannah's volleyball game this last week. She spent a good part of last Saturday shopping with Hannah. She cooked a few meals and did the grocery shopping. As the oncologist recently remarked, "Boring is good."

On the other hand the cancer still has its grip on Ann's liver. Toxic chemicals are dripped into her veins twice every three weeks. Ann's body was unable to sufficiently recover from Round 5 so she required a transfusion. The additional activities cause increased fatigue. Despair and hopelessness rule some days.

On other days Ann has a measure of rest and hope. A big factor is encouragement from the Word of God. Ann and I are working through a study on God's attributes. Ann, Laurie, Joan recently started Beth Moore's Believing God: Experiencing a Fresh Explosion of Faith. This incredible study has confirmed many of the things that we have learned this last year. I've been analyzing James 5:13-20, a significant passage on healing.

It seems that this journey of ours is best described as a paradox.


"Why Won't You Pray for My Healing?"
When the oncologist reported the preliminary diagnosis after Ann's surgery last year, I think the news sent Ann into some kind of shock. She didn't show any emotion at all for several days. What does a man say to his wife who just learned that she has aggressive, incurable cancer? With nowhere else to turn, I turned to the Psalms. I began with Psalm 1 and just read out loud while Ann silently lay in her hospital bed with her eyes closed.

We continued the practice after returning home from the hospital. I would read Psalms to her each evening and pray for her strength, grace, and endurance. After a week or so, Ann pierced me with the question, "Why won't you pray for my healing?"

I don't remember exactly how I responded that time, or the several subsequent times that Ann asked me to pray for physical healing. Basically, I was rightly committed to not promising something to Ann – or to the kids – that I didn't think would happen.

Looking back I've identified the following barriers to my willingness to pray for Ann's physical healing.

Experiential Barriers:

• Life is tough. When I was laid off after 9/11 and had to drop out of seminary for a semester, I experienced the truth that Christians are not exempt from hardships.
• Endurance takes great faith. While I was fruitlessly searching for work, I learned firsthand the difficulty of trusting God when he seemed absent. The primary question I wrestled with was, "Is God really good?"
• God uses suffering. The conference speakers that I respected the most were those who had endured incredible suffering.
• God heals naturally. If a person recovers from a disease, God generally uses doctors and medicine to bring about deliverance.
• Godly people die. C.S. Lewis' wife, Keith Wilhite (my preaching professor), Matt's kindergarten teacher and my Grandma all died "prematurely" of cancer.
• Presumption is ludicrous. I refuse to be so arrogant to think that we are more righteousness or have more faith than godly people who have suffered and died before us.

For the record – I still hold to each one of these "barriers." Each accurately reflects the experiences of life in a fallen world.

Theological barriers:

• Miracles were different then. The healing miracles performed by Jesus and the apostles were instantaneous (except Mark 8:23-25) and always effective (except Matt 17:14-20), even in the hardest cases. Therefore, God only rarely intervenes miraculously now, especially in developed nations.
• God is honored through suffering. Therefore, we should only pray for endurance in trials – not deliverance from them.
• We must accept God's will. To live is Christ and to die is gain. Therefore, we should assume that it's God's will for a person with aggressive, incurable cancer to die. I must prepare myself for Ann's imminent death.
• God is sovereign and knows the future in advance. Therefore, his will is set and we pray only to grow in our relationship with him. Prayer changes us; it doesn't really impact the circumstances of life.
• The Word was written to specific historical audiences. We must understand both the biblical culture and ours before making application. Therefore, we cannot claim passages on prayer, deliverance or physical healing as promises from God for us today.

Each of the theological barriers listed above contain two elements. The first is the basic assumption and is identified prior to the "therefore" statement. The second element is the conclusion that I derived from that basic assumption. It is described in the "therefore" statement and is italicized.

For the record – I still believe each basic assumption. Each accurately reflects the biblical data.

However, I have reevaluated and rejected each of my conclusions. Although each may accurately reflect the experience of life, each is erroneous with regard to the biblical data.

This last year has been a journey in evaluating my experience in light of biblical data, rather than evaluating the Bible in light of my experience.

Prayer Requests:

• That the "Mack Truck" side effect would again pass Ann by this coming week. Her next chemo treatment is Tuesday.
• That we would find hope and rest in the character of God as we study his Word in the coming weeks.
• That God would physically heal Ann so that she can teach our kids and grandkids that "there is nothing our God cannot do."
• That God would demonstrate the reality of the resurrection from the dead by delivering Ann from the grip of death.
  

James 5:14-16:
Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.


Thanks for praying and caring.

Love,
Howard & Ann

God is Mystery (9/3/2007)

I believe that God is. The arrangement of the constellations, the continuity of the sunrise, the majesty of the mountains, the roar of the ocean waves, the uniqueness of each animal species, the complexity of a human cell, the creativity of man, the love of husband and wife, and the miracle of birth – all loudly declare that an intelligent being created it all. God has provided amble evidence that he exists. To draw another conclusion is inexcusable.

I believe that God is mystery. He is incomprehensible, inexplicable, inconceivable, unfathomable, profound, and perplexing. Anything less and he would cease to be God. As God, He shrouds himself in secrecy and his thoughts and deeds are beyond the capacity of my finite mind. Attempts to describe God will fall infinitely short of its intended mark.

Nevertheless, I believe that God is one who reveals himself to man. A mystery. Through the testimony of general revelation and especially the Bible, we can sufficiently, though not exhaustively, know of God.

I believe that God is the only true God. He is Elohim, the most high and powerful God. He is Adonai, my Lord and the Lord par excellence. He is YHWH, the God who is self-existent and enters into covenant with creation and Israel. He is the Most High God, God Almighty, the Lord of the Heavenly Armies, the Holy One, the Ancient of Days, the Judge of All the Earth, the Sovereign Lord, and the Almighty.

I believe that God is a personal being, who intimately relates to his creation. He is not an inanimate force; he is not a disinterested, uninvolved creator; he is not the cosmic force behind evolution. He is my Shepherd, my Rock, the One Who Will Provide, and the One Who Sees.

I believe that God is without need. God does not depend on anything; rather everything depends on Him. God lacks nothing in himself. Nevertheless, he chose to create the universe – not to fulfill a need, but as a loving, self-giving act. A mystery. He is perfectly complete without man; I am entirely empty without him. God is not bound by anything outside himself. He can freely do all that he desires.

I believe God is perfect. God's perfect nature is the measure of all that is pure, correct, and good. God's perfect nature does not change. God's perfect nature is completely fulfilled within himself. His internal well-being is not affected by his creation or mankind. Nevertheless, he condescends, choosing to participate with us in relationship, in which he displays emotions consistent with His nature. A mystery.

I believe God is infinite. God is unlimited and without constraints, both in his nature and in what he can do. God is unlimited in knowledge, comprehensively knowing the past, present, and future. God is unlimited in power. God is not constrained by space. He is absolutely distinct and separate from creation. God is not everything, nor is everything God. Nevertheless, he is present everywhere within creation, yet not confused with it. A mystery. God is not constrained by time. He is without beginning or end. He is outside of time. Nevertheless, he graciously acts in time to relate to His creation. A mystery.

I believe that God is unity. God is not composed of parts, nor are contradictions found in His nature. God is the only God, and God is only one. There is one infinite God, one divine being, one creator of all.

Nevertheless, I believe that God is tri-unity, or Trinity. A mystery. The one God eternally exists as three persons – the Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Nevertheless, there is one God. A mystery. God disclosed Himself in the Old Testament as having mysterious unity and diversity in his own being and expression. God's self-disclosure is completed in the New Testament. The Divine unity remains – God is one. The Divine diversity is unpacked – God is three distinct persons. The Father is not the Son; the Son is not the Father. The Spirit is not the Son; the Spirit is not the Father. Nevertheless, God is one. A mystery. The Three are each completely and truly God. The Three are each personal, without need, perfect, infinite, and unity. The Divine cannot be divided; the Three cannot be confused.

I believe that the Father is wholly God. He, through the Son and Spirit, is the creator of all things – whether in heaven or on earth. He is the Sovereign Ruler, the King of the Universe. He is the Holy Judge. He is the One who graciously reconciles, sending his only Son as the appeasing sacrifice. He is the One to whom all things will return at the consummation of history.

I believe that the Son, Jesus Christ, is wholly God. The Son is the creator of all things; he is the sustainer of all things. The Son always existed with God, is present everywhere, knows all things, is unlimited in power, and never changes. The Son is the Only Begotten God, God with Us, the King of Kings, the Alpha and Omega. Jesus Christ claimed to be God. He forgave sins; his miracles validated his claims. Jesus Christ freely accepted worship.

Nevertheless, I believe that the Son, Jesus Christ, is wholly man. A mystery. The Eternal Son was conceived by the Holy Spirit in the womb of a young virgin named Mary. A mystery. The divine nature assumed a human nature, yet the two natures remained distinct. In his birth, youth, ministry, and death, he was completely human. Nevertheless, he remained fully God, conscious of his deity, yet not always exercising certain attributes. A mystery.

I believe that Holy Spirit is wholly God. The Holy Spirit is present everywhere, knows all things, and is unlimited in power. The Spirit is a person, not a force, as he has intelligence, volition, and emotions.

I believe that God is mystery.

Can We Trust God? (9/3/2007)

Hello to All,

Ann's blood counts were down when we met with our oncologist in Houston on August 24th. She expected Round 5 to be delayed for at least a few days so that Ann's body could adequately rebound from the previous treatment.

We met with the monitoring hematologist here in Dallas four days later. He informed us that Ann's counts were completely normal. He then quizzed Ann about various side effects. After he learned that Ann hadn't had any fevers, chills, or nausea, he exclaimed, "Well, boring is good."

We continue to be amazed at how God has protected and sustained Ann through a year of chemo. Ann's first treatment began last year on September 7th.


We have wrestled with a number of doubts about God since Ann was diagnosed with incurable cancer on July 28, 2006. Looking back it seems that one or both of us have progressed though these five questions:

1. Why did God allow this? If God really has all power and knows the future, why didn't he prevent the cancer from invading Ann's spleen, liver and bones?
2. What if there is no God? Does God really exist or did we create him to pacify us in difficult times?
3. What good is prayer? Does prayer really make a difference? Why are so many prayers unanswered?
4. What if God's Word is not true? Can we trust promises for eternal life if we don't experience promises for answered prayer or physical deliverance? Does God really keep his promises?
5. Who is God? Is he really good? Can I trust him?

Answering one question often opened the door to the next. I've shared some thoughts on the first four questions in previous emails. I thought that I had dealt with the fifth one when I was laid off after 9/11. I questioned God's goodness as I looked for work in a depressed economy and had to drop out of seminary. I remember being unable to sing worship choruses in church one Sunday morning because the words seemed so untrue. Eventually, however, I concluded that God was good in spite of my painful circumstances.

It seems that my conclusion was not as firm as I had thought. By questioning if God really keeps his promises, I was really asking a more fundamental question, "Is God trustworthy?"

One Sunday evening near Houston, my friend Bill gently corrected me by confidently stating – on the basis of God's character – that God would never deceive me. One morning next to the Big Thompson River in Estes Park, the Lord's reprimand to Job reprimanded me:

Job 40:7-8:
"Brace yourself like a man.
I will question you, and you shall answer me.
Would you discredit my justice?
Would you condemn me to justify yourself?"

Like Job, all I could do was repent.

To remind myself of God's character I dusted off a seminary assignment entitled God is Mystery and re-read it several times. I've attached a version (without all the footnotes) with the hope that it will encourage some of you as well.

Ann and I also found the old study Experiencing God's Attributes out in the garage, which she completed before we were married. We plan to work through this together over the coming months to remind us of who God is.

Prayer Requests:

• That the "Mack Truck" side effect would again pass Ann by this week.
• That we would find rest in the character of God as we study his attributes in the coming weeks.
• That God would physically heal Ann in his time and way so that our grandkids will know her love and faith.
• That God would demonstrate the reality of the resurrection from the dead by delivering Ann from the grip of death.
  

Thanks for praying and caring.

Love,
Howard & Ann

Eating My Words (8/25/2007)

Hello to All,

Dr. Steinert was her typical upbeat self when she walked into the examination room yesterday. She exclaimed, "It looks like you are doing well!" The scans showed that the cancer had basically remained "stable" since the tests eight weeks ago. Ann's lungs are still cancer free and the blood tests show that her liver is still functioning normally. The doctor was also excited to hear that Ann had been able to hike fifteen miles while in Colorado and that she has experienced minimal side effects from the chemo. Apparently, this regimen will wipe some people out so badly that they have to lie in bed for days.

Dr. Steinert's challenge is to balance two competing priorities: to minimize or stop the growth of the cancer and to enable Ann to have an adequate "quality of life." (We both hate that term.) Ann's last regimen was limited to eight rounds because of its toxicity, so I asked if there was a limit to this regimen. The doctor reported that she has a patient who had just completed Round 57. As long as the cancer remains stable and Ann continues to do well, it looks like she will continue this regimen - until God physically heals.

Ann has been receiving chemo treatments for almost a year and it has become a bittersweet part of our routine. Thank you for carrying us through prayer this last year. Ann starts Round 5 on Tuesday.


During seminary I often visited a couple of Half Price Books Stores with my friend Hector in order to find good deals on commentaries and other Biblical reference books. I distinctly remember having this arrogant thought on one of our shopping sprees, "I don't need any of the 'popular' Christian books. I get all I need for daily life from studying the Bible with some good commentaries." I usually didn't even bother to go to the 'Christian Living' section of the store, but just camped in the reference section.

In a previous email I voiced a troubling question, "What if God doesn't really keep his promises?" If you can guess the biblical scholar (before reading the rest of the email) whose careful arguments convinced me that I could trust God's Word, I will wire you $1,000.

I was bored one afternoon last month while shopping with Ann, so I went outside to wait patiently for her in the car. I noticed a small book next to Ann's seat, one that was given to her while we were back in Iowa. I began to scan the first chapter.

The author related the time that her children asked her, "Is there anything God cannot do?" She thought a bit and then replied, "He can't break his promises." After they ran off to resume play, she pondered the implication of what she had just said. She writes,

"If God cannot break his promises, then we know that we can stake our lives and afterlives on them… I can depend on the God of all Creation to do what he says he's going to do. To do otherwise would be to violate his own person. His promises are guaranteed by the same power that keeps the sun in its place and the planets spinning in their orbits."

The book was Gentle Grace and the author was Kathy Lee Gifford. The Holy Spirit used the former star of Regis and Kathy Lee to force me to eat my words and to convince me to trust his again.

Trusting His Word:

• "It is impossible for God to lie…" (Heb 6:18)
• "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." (Heb 10:23)
• "Not one of all the LORD's good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled." (Joshua 21:45)
• "For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished." (Matt 5:18)
• "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock." (Matt 7:24)
  

Prayer Requests:

• That patience and forgiveness would characterize our family's relationships, rather than anger and arguing.
• That the "Mack Truck" side effect would swerve past Ann again.
• That Ann would continue to tolerate the chemo and that the chemo would continue to hold the cancer in check.
• That God would physically heal Ann in his time and way so that our grandkids will know her love and faith.
  

Thanks for praying and caring.

Love,
Howard & Ann

Not by Might (8/19/2007)

Hello to All,

We celebrated our twenty second anniversary this weekend. We kind of had a get-a-way without having to leave home. Matt and Hannah have been with my sister's family in Indiana for the week. Drew was busy with the youth group and work. Paul returned to John Brown University in Arkansas Saturday morning. It was great for Ann and me to just hang out together for the weekend. Cancer can make you appreciate what you do have.

Last year we were engulfed in uncertainty on our anniversary. We had received our diagnosis from the doctors in Dallas, but hadn't had our first appointment at MD Anderson in Houston. We didn't know what chemo regimen we would face; we didn't know what the chemo would do to Ann's body; we didn't know if the chemo would even be effective against the cancer. I hadn't sent out my first email update; I didn't even know if it was OK for me to pray for Ann's physical healing. We didn't know how far the cancer had spread; we didn't even know if Ann would make it to Twenty-two.

Thank you for carrying us in prayer this last year. I believe that we had the physical and emotional strength to endure because of prayer. I believe that we were able to ask tough questions without chucking our faith because of prayer. I believe that the chemo effectively held the cancer in check because of prayer; I believe that Ann's body held up against the toxicity of the chemo because of prayer. I believe that Ann is alive today because of prayer. Thank you and praise God.

Dave and Joan came over last Saturday evening to pray for my sermon. Jim and Laurie sent a text message saying that they were praying. Alan prayed with me before the service. Many of you prayed. It's not that I was nervous. I had taught a form of this message two other times. I had adequately prepared. I would be preaching to our home church. I would be cheered on by many of the families in our home Bible study group.

I just didn't know if I'd have the composure to make it through the message. I broke down numerous times Saturday morning while at Panera Bread putting the finishing touches on my manuscript. I wept several times early Sunday morning as I ran through my delivery. I cried as Alan and the worship team led the congregation in many of the songs that had ministered to us over the last year. Sometimes I found myself grasping for breath in order to hold back the sobbing.

I wondered how in the world I would get through the sermon. As the congregation sang I thought to myself, "Maybe I won't make it. The grief may become so great that I won't have the composure to continue. If so, I could just quit. Everyone would understand…"

I was then hit by the irony of my thinking. You see, my sermon's big idea was to "Keep the Christian Faith. Never quit!"

Pastor Rick sensed my predicament and the Holy Spirit, so just before I went up to preach he put his arm around my shoulder and prayed that God would speak his word through me. As I walked to the podium I knew that God would answer his prayer.

I never lost my composure during the sermon, though I did get choked up numerous times. Surprisingly, I was able to finish each sentence. This was the first time in my ministry that I was more pleased with my verbal delivery than my written notes.

I had gone for a walk that morning to pray for my sermon. The heart of my prayer was that I just wanted the Lord to be pleased with what I said, even if I looked like a fool while saying it. Pastor Rick closed the service in prayer with the words, "Lord, we know you were pleased this morning..." I knew then that God had answered my prayer.

Ezekiel 4:6
'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.

Prayer Requests:

• That Ann can maintain hope in spite of bad news. Ann cratered emotionally today when we learned that another friend has cancer.
• That the logistics would fall in place so that I can attend my grandmother's funeral in Iowa this week (perhaps on Wednesday).
• That the scans (Thursday) and the doctor's appointment (Friday) would confirm that the chemo is killing the tumors.
• That God would heal Ann in his time and way so that we can worship him with our all of grandkids someday in Rocky Mountain National Park.

Thanks for praying and carrying us.

Love,
Howard & Ann

My Rock (8/8/2007)

Hello to All,

Yesterday afternoon we returned from a great trip to Colorado. It was refreshing to be away from the city and the heat, from our responsibilities and our reality. The majesty of the mountains, the roaring of the streams, the splendor of the wildlife, and the delicacy of the flora all served as reminders of God's glory and diversions from Evil's cancer. Ann used the word "surreal" several times.

The attached picture is of our family at Dream Lake. Ann and I made this hike together on our honeymoon twenty-two years ago. We hiked it again on our tenth anniversary when we were contemplating attending Denver Seminary. Now we have hiked it five times with our four kids. We are praying that God will graciously privilege us with making this hike with all of our grandchildren. To do so will truly be proof that God still heals today.

Ann felt great most of the time we were in Colorado. She not only hiked to Dream Lake, she also made several other hikes with us. In total she trekked about fifteen miles. Not bad for a woman who gets tired walking across Wal-Mart's parking lot. Thanks for praying for her endurance. As Ann pressed along the trail, she sang a song she used to sing with our kids:

"My God is so big, so strong and so mighty.
There's nothing my God cannot do."

By faith we made reservations for next summer. By grace Ann will teach this song to our grandchildren as she hikes with them in Rocky Mountain National Park.

This morning Ann started Round 4 of her current chemo regimen.

Psalm 18:1-2:
I love you, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer.
My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Prayer Requests:

• That God would use my sermon (August 12th) in our church in Dallas (www.nhbc.net) to encourage those who are struggling to persevere.
• That we could celebrate our anniversary (August 17th) in hope and not fear.
• That the scans (August 23rd) and doctor's appointment (August 24th) after Round 4 would confirm that the chemo is killing the tumors.
• That God would heal Ann in his time and way so that we can worship him with our all of grandkids someday at Dream Lake.
  

Thanks for praying for Ann's endurance and healing.

Love,
Howard & Ann